Monster Girl Health Advisory - March Hare

March Hare

Family: Beastman

Subtype: Rabbit

Habitat: Lunar surface (Wonderland), bars, clubs, red light districts

Disposition: Confusing, lustful, cheery, lonely

Diet: Herbivorous, likes root vegetables, tea and wonderland tarts

A unique beastgirl type first identified in the once thought fictional ‘Alice in Wonderland’, they are in fact natives to the lunar surface who had found their way to the Earth’s surface following the first lunar landing. In a stipulated agreement between the “Queen of Hearts”, an exceedingly large and powerful progenitor March Hare with succubus-like abilities, her daughters were to be allowed to partake in the interspecies cultural exchange program in exchange for lunar technology, resulting in the rapid advancement of many of humanity’s greatest subsequent achievements. This is unfortunately not inclusive of their proprietary portal technology which allows them to appear and disappear at will and is uniquely coded to their genetic structure.

Due to their all-female society in combination with centuries of isolation, coming into contact with other species and genders has resulted in a significant and rapid pervasion of March Hares into modern society who have glutted themselves on wanting to experience EVERYTHING they can get their paws on. This sensory overload has resulted in a complete obliteration of common sense; forcing them to interpret almost everything with a lewd or sexual connotation which has been increasingly tied into food.

For example, if a man offers to purchase them a meal, they may immediately interpret this as a desire to fatten them up in order to have their way with their curvaceous body. “I would like some.” or “How much is that?” may hence be interpreted as “I would like some (of your fat thighs around my neck)” or “How much (food do you eat and) is that (all your tummy can handle, you little glutton?) The extent to which misunderstandings may occur encourages a good stretch of her imagination and directs the conversation mostly towards sex no matter how far the subject is originally removed, encouraging them to become hot and bothered.

This extends to all forms of public service which has significantly limited their capacity to engage in ‘regular jobs’ to support themselves, only further spurring their desire to seek employment that matches their already lustful nature. If propositioned for feeding of a sexual nature, they will leap at the opportunity without hesitation.

For this reason, those who become involved with March Hares will often spend most of their days in an infinite loop of lewd exchanges including but not limited to kinkier and kinkier feeding scenarios. The extra energy imbued by food is not only stored as excessive fat, but accelerates the aphrodisiac effect of their sweat, resulting in both excessive sex drive in an ever radiating aura which is known to cause hallucinations.

They often participate in tea parties with other monster girls called ‘Hatters’ to which they are often late secondary to having been caught up with a second lunch or breakfast as well as managing to wind up stuck trying to waddle through their own portals.