最近在吃藥

開始吃自費的治療腦神經衰弱的藥後好像滿一周了 晚上睡覺時更順利入睡不會東想西想了，睡眠品質也提升了，被各種亂七八糟的夢境干擾變少，也比較少起來上廁所了，起床時的痛苦度也大幅降低了，起床後的低潮期也縮短了，那種很奇怪的頭脹痛感也沒了，生活中更自然的不會不自覺想一堆讓人很厭世的事情了 我很久以前就覺得憂鬱症量表很蠢，因為第一條就是問你想死嗎？我很確定我超怕死，就是因為很怕死又知道死亡是唯一的結果才會憂鬱（？） 但某天我忽然驚醒不對啊，我不能因為我不想死就全盤否認這量表，然後我終於往下看以後，什麼生活沒重心、對什麼都沒興趣、覺得很累很失落、性慾降低什麼都不想做etc等等幾乎全中啊典型的憂鬱 今天早上更是覺得好爽喔 睡醒居然不會很想死很低潮很頭痛很混沌了… 原來以前睡醒那麼那麼那麼痛苦是有病Ｒ幹www 多睡也不會頭痛死暈死爛一整天好爽 讓人更想繼續睡了（？？ 幾年起床沒這種FU了這藥有效A 吃藥後就從左邊變成右邊可以讓腦袋放空後呈現啊哈哈哈哈哈哈的軟爛史萊姆狀態AqA 可是！ 那副作用好像滿明顯的，性慾低下好明顯，我基本腦袋一片空…欸嘿嘿嘿嘿……… It has been about a week since I've started taking medication against my neurological troubles. Now I sleep more and better at night and I don't overthink all the time. Nightmares are rarer. I'm also less likely to get up to go to the toilet and I feel less miserable when I wake up, with much more energy. Plus I don't have that weird headache anymore, and I stopped thinking about all the bad things in my life continuously. "I used to think that the depression scale was stupid because the first question was "Do you want to die? I'm pretty sure I'm terrified of death. It's because I'm terrified of death and I know that death is the only outcome that I'm depressed (?). But then one day I suddenly realised that no, I can't just reject the scale because I don't want to die, so I finally looked down the scale and I hit all the right notes: no focus in life, no interest in anything, feeling tired and depressed, reduced sex drive, etc. Typical depression!" This morning I felt so good! I didn't feel like I was dying, confused or having a headache as I usually do when I wake up... I think the reason I used to wake up so miserable was simply because I was sick. It's nice to sleep more without getting headaches and dizziness all day. It makes you want to go back to bed and sleep more (?) Something like that hasn't happen to me in many years: that shows how powerful those pills are... After taking the pill, my everyday life changed drastically. My brain became empty and turned into a soft and rotten slime state AqA BUT Of course there are side effects. They are quite strong and include very low sex drive, empty brain,... hehe... gueuh *brain dead*