Panel-Cast: X-Men 700

It's over. It's done. Goodbye, orgy island. We can all go home back to our pitiful, disappointing, regular lives now. It's time for normal. No more damn X-men.

Just kidding, I'm sure the next 5 year story arc is starting up already, but I need a poop and a cigarette first. In fact i think we could all use a poop and a cigarette. I know Cyclops could use one, Xavier definitely could. Magneto, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm, they're all lookin like a sad Ben Affleck picture right about now.

The Krakoan Era is dead, now it's time for the Smoke and Dumpski era. Everybody gets to have a smoke and a dumpski. Everyone deserves it, and that means you as well, True Believer. Take as long as you need, bring a Nintendo Switch in there if you want.

Whatever the future holds for Marvel's Merry Mutants, i think we can all agree they may have gotten a tad too merry in places. Any X-Men who are actually smart are deleting their social media, changing their phone numbers, and living quiet lives in Northern Michigan right now. I'm talking way north, up in the U.P. where nobody will ever find them. They're the Y men now, and that stands for Yooper.

We will carry Krakoa in our hearts, and always remember the lessons it taught us.

Lesson 1: Stay Horny

Lesson 2: Kill All Humans

Lesson 3: Don't Trust Sinister.

You know, come to think of it most of those lessons sound pretty obvious in hindsight. For fuck's sake, the guy's name is Sinister. He's not called Mr. Trustworthy. I guess the main thing Krakoa taught us is... nothing.

Nothin at all.

Not a damn thing.

Not. One. Damn. Stinkin. Damn. Thing.

In the end it was all completely pointless, gratuitous, confusing and insane, purely for the sake of it.

Now that's what I call the fuckin X-Men.

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