LOST LORE OF THE REALMS #24

Delayed due to GameholeCon and a fatal computer crash, but here now!!! I'm off to Phantasm in Peterborough, Ontario for the weekend (a GREAT local con), and then the NEXT Lost Lore will greet you!!!

Here we go....

The Political Career of Lord Dagult Neverember

Dagult came to Neverwinter to repair it (and plunder it on the sly to become personally wealthy) in 1469 DR. Because he’d been publicly suggested as a candidate to become Open Lord of Waterdeep (which is NOT how Open Lords are chosen, but his faction was trying to push the sitting Masked Lords into accepting Dagult), Dagult claimed to be Open Lord of Waterdeep in order to more easily become Lord Protector of Neverwinter (claiming to bring with him Waterdeep’s friendship and military and monetary support).

Once the rebuilding of Neverwinter was well under way and Dagult had discovered there was very little coin in the vaults to take, he went to Waterdeep, telling Neverwinter he was going to get that promised monetary support because it seemed that without him, it would never come.

He then used his status as Lord Protector (look at all the good I’m doing in Neverwinter! See what a capable, get-things-done administrator I am!) to persuade enough Masked Lords to side with the secret trio of Masked Lords who were his backers/controllers (so as to use him to get wealthy city contracts, etc.) to get himself elected Open Lord.

Dagult is a smart, sly, cunning manipulator and shrewd judge of folk who can be a very good governor, so long as he gets his cut (he’s not endlessly greedy), and both cities benefited from his tenure...but he rubbed so many Waterdhavians the wrong way being imperious, that they decided they wouldn’t overlook his hands in the cookie jar any longer because he was playing tyrant, so they gave him the boot.

Whereupon, snarling and growling, he retreated to Neverwinter. Where he then behaved, at least in dealings with Waterdeep, because he’s thoroughly scared of Laeral, who calmly saw right through him, and told him gently all she knew about his chicanery, which was everything, on their first private face-to-face meeting. This is the short version, mind; there are nuances. ;}

Younger Brother Elven Nicknames

Popular nicknames among elves for younger brothers:

Vuin = youngling (connotation: green, innocent)

Telnaer = little hero

Telmaur = little dreamer

The derivations: “tela” means little (not disparaging), “elnaer” is hero, and “emauri” is false/make-believe/what’s desired as opposed to reality.

In Elvish, most vowel prefixes and suffixes ‘go away’ when a compound word or phrase is formed and they get run together with other words to do so.

Medical Know-How In The Realms

This varies from place to place, but most healers (most large temples have clergy and laity good at tending the sick and wounded) understand cleaning wounds, healing herbal ointments, bandages, splints, and natural substances that “eat” infections.

A Realms first aider in many places and times is as good as a modern real-world first aider. And for local problems (i.e. known local poisonous plants and critters), treatment is usually superb. Healing magic is a “big gun” last resort for many, so they’re ready to do everything else.

Healing spells are the best “fix” for blood pressure, circulation, stroke, and heart matters, but most “local wise women” and priests of all faiths know about the abundant wild (and in most monasteries, cultivated) plant known as monk’s hood/foxglove/digitalis, which goes by various names across the Realms, including “vaelis” and “sauvor.”

Durnan Of Waterdeep

Durnan was one of my two original Realms characters that I wrote finished short stories about (as opposed to the single-scene vignettes wherein I started to flesh out the Seven Sisters), and I saw him as a young, naive “thinking-man’s Conan” (Conan from civilization, with a very active mind seeking to understand how things work, behind the scenes, in Waterdeep and within guilds, costers, and ruling courts everywhere—as opposed to a fish-out-of-water “barbarian”) who was the best friend and adventuring partner of older and more wily Mirt (himself just retired from being “Mirt the Merciless,” captain of his own mercenary company).

So he was not a ‘hardened tavernmaster’ to start with. He was someone who had the good sense to retire from adventuring when he struck it rich, marry the sweetheart of his youth, and settle down to doing what he loved best (being tavernmaster in a neighbourhood he loved). He has, of course, adopted a “hardened” persona over the years as the best way to deal with difficult patrons; his few close friends see a very different side of him.

He and his family imbibed potions of longevity to prolong his lifespan, and his secret dealings with several Chosen of Mystra, and the goddess directly, to become an ‘anchor’ for the Weave in preparation for the Spellplague led Mystra to make certain alterations to his longevity that allowed it to survive the onset of the Spellplague (so he could function as a Weave anchor) with the result that he remained vigorous for many, many decades.

So the patrons of the Yawning Portal may know him as a kindly but stern man who keeps a cocked and loaded two-shot crossbow handy under his bar (he’s owned a succession of these down the years, but his first was made by Iros “Ironthorn” Thornan of Port Llast in 1299 DR, whom Durnan purchased it from in Mirtul of 1302 DR), but he’s also a quiet, kindly advisor and source of help, in private and treating all as equals. Durnan sees consequences and the ‘long view’ and many facets of the world more than most rulers, sages, and far-traveled merchants, and his day job gains him more fresh intel than most.

Durnan’s day job and personal world view enable him to subtly steer adventuring bands (who come for the fellowship or access to Undermountain) to go here or there, and do this or that, to give society in Faerûn tiny nudges in this or that direction.

Last-Ditch Defenses Of Waterdeep

In the novel City of Splendors (co-written by Elaine Cunningham and me), we see the armies of The Threat From The Sea attack Waterdeep. All of Faerûn knows of the dragonwards Ahghairon established, that keep dragons from attacking the city from the skies. And many folk up and down the Sword Coast has heard of the Walking Statues. Waterdeep has its armed and armoured City Watch, complete with Castle Waterdeep and many wall-towers containing dungeon cells.

What beyond these defends Waterdeep?

There are huge sections of massive city walls waiting extra-dimensionally to be whisked into place, there are the griffon riders in their eyrie within the top of Mount Waterdeep and the various ‘bombs’ they can drop on besiegers/invaders from aloft (including opening-caged monsters of various sorts), and there’s whatever the Blackstaff and the Watchful Order have up their sleeves.

Not to mention various “family relics” that various noble families have hidden away in their city mansions. Some of these are known to include shield guardians, golems, and an astonishing number of undead beholders. Not to mention ‘sleeping’ family members who are liches of some magical might.

Those city wall sections have at least twice in the past been dropped on the heads of attackers riding large monsters, rather than put in place to form a city wall.

And, oh, yes, there are all the dragons (see my Wyrms of the North articles) resident in Waterdeep, in various guises.

Plus whatever Laeral, the current Open Lord, can call on personally (not to mention the head of her secret service, a certain Elminster; you may have heard of him). Both Laeral and El are Weavemasters; they can call on the Weave to do all sorts of magic without casting spells.

And then there’s the Xanathar and his “guild,” the real official guilds of the city, and the inhabitants of Skullport (including the Promenade, a temple of Eilistraee that the goddess takes a strong personal interest in), and whatever they can muster.

Not to mention a small array of “mad scientist” hobby projects hosted at various outlying noble mansions up the Amphail Road.

Saying “Okay” in Common

Folk in the Realms (aside from world-hopping Elminster) don’t actually know or use the word “okay,” though some of their real-world chroniclers, translating what unfolds there for us, may do so.

In Common, “fair enough” or “eyes of the gods” are the usual expressions, which are short for “fair enough for the gods, so acceptable to me” and “good in the eyes of the gods, so good to me, too” (meaning: I accept).

You will also hear “right” in the Realms, which is short for “right in my eyes” (this also means: I accept).

Proofing Liquor In The Realms

In terms of the modern American (or all the other systems), they don’t. Everything is “Cask Strength,” and those who make it have their ways (often akin to those of real-world moonshiners, like “the bubble method”) for roughly gauging how strong a “swig” is.

In Calimshan and the Tashalar, they do a “flame test” (a thimble of the alcoholic sustance is touched alight under bright lighting, and color and ferocity of flame examined). Most buyers for royal courts and temples do a taste test (that doubles as a poisoning test!).

Justice In The Realms

There are no formal “lawyers” in the Realms (when you read of such, it’s one of our real-world chorniclers translating) but anyone may have an advocate speak for them, though an accused must be present at the trial unless the magister (judge) grants otherwise (usually only when very ill or wounded). Waterdeep and most large cities now have hired-by-an-accused “lawspeakers” who argue an accused’s case before the court (it’s rarer to have lawspeakers for plaintiffs, but this role is growing). Any citizen can speak at a case (intervenor), but no guilds or groups unless called upon by the judge to give evidence (though a guild or group member could testify as an individual, not as a formal speaker for the guild or group). Lawspeakers charge anything from 1 sp/day to 6 gp/day.

Some lawspeakers have become pretty good at the finer points of case law, but most are at heart very good orators/actors.

Gond, Gunpowder, and Kossuth

It’s not Kossuth who nerfed gunpowder in the Realms (though the priests of Kossuth will tell you it was Kossuth, as that’s what Kossuth told them), it’s Gond. (Kossuth does drink napalm and other flame-boosting substances.)

Smokepowder (which is not the same thing as the “smokeless powder” used with firearms here on Earth) does work in the Realms.

Internal combustion engines work on the Realms so long as your gasoline and oil (lubricant) hold out. Which means two-stroke engines, which can run (badly) on fish oil and the like, have a longer life on Toril than the computerised, fuel-injected car engines of today.

(This is official Realmslore because Gary Gygax and Dave Sutherland and I tag-teamed a charity D&D game set in the Realms once, in which hunters from modern Earth inadvertently took their open “Springbok” runabout motorboat through a gate into the Realms.)

The most likely places to find combustion engines in Faerûn are the innermost rooms of major temples of Gond (off limits to all but high-ranking clergy), as massive engines (like real-world historical “rolling beam” steam engines). These are best described as “explosive experiments” rather than “useful workhouse engines.”

The most practical and easily handled explosive for just plain folks in the Realms to make “bombs” with is oil-rich stone. It’s heavy and sparks and flames must be kept away from it (don’t use metal shovels!). Dwarves want this stuff gone from wherever they’re mining because sparks ignite it and also know where to find the nearest deposits, and wizards can help with bulk transport (teleport or levitate) to any area you’d like to host a bomb.

Gunpowder (from any world or plane) doesn’t work on Toril. Magical smokepowder is the equivalent, that does. However, if you can somehow accumulate sufficient quantities of jewellers’ rouge (buffing/shining abrasive), that works as gunpowder in Amber (Roger Zelazny), and back in the day, he and I agreed that applied to the Realms, too. TSR (that is, Brian Thomsen and Dave Sutherland) approved.

....And the "wouldn't fit" tags this time around are:

#Mount Waterdeep

#monasteries

#Mystra

#napalm

#Neverwinter

#noble mansions

#oil-rich stone

#Open Lord (of Waterdeep)

#poison

#Port Llast

#potions of longevity

#proofing liquor

#Promenade (temple)

#royal courts

#sauvor

#shield guardians

#Skullport

#smokepowder

#smokeless powder

#(the) Spellplague

#Sword Coast

#(the) Tashalar

#teleport

#telmaur

#telnaer

#temples

#Threat From The Sea

#Undermountain

#vaelis

#vuin

#Walking Statues

#Watchful Order

#Waterdeep

#(the) Weave

#Weave anchor

#Weavemasters

#Wyrms of the North

#(the) Xanathar

#Yawning Portal