Have I Got Wanking Off Dolphins For You
Welcome to The Upshot’s news at 6. The headlines this morning:
Armenian Prime Minister sparks condemnation after threatening to flash his cock to the country’s most revered orthodox priest.
The county of Northumbria is in turmoil over a resident accused of wanking off a dolphin.
And we’re joined by The Upshot’s environmental editor JP Lockwood as he tries to grow a King Cucumber in his own arse.
