This Week At KosoruCG 7/16-7/22

Hello GG welcome to the weekly report

we have a lot of content

whether important or unimportant

so find a nice place to sit

and maybe grab an iced coffee or something

I feel like I haven't written a weekly for a long time

If you often read my weekly

You'll know that the first two weeks of this month's weekly report was done in a relative rush

Because I didn't write a bunch of crap into it lmao

Let's start with the important stuff

lest I forget something again

uh...yes

We started using new lighting in Stalker 7

however, Stalker 7 that week I mainly studied composition rules

The light and shadow technology is completed on "Lucky day 2 if"

Then after "Lucky day 2 if" done

I think my loop animation research to a paragraph

I started trying to make animation like this in Rat 4

I think it works well

they are not bad and I will still make them

But now I think it's time to start a new series

as for partner 8

I think it might be a little bit later

the new series I am currently planning is a brand new project

never mentioned before

as for Stalker 8 I guess it will come out in August

Currently in the schedule but not yet completed is the remake of Mo

because it didn't meet my expectations

so you won't see so soon

I have a bunch of videos I haven't made yet

but don't worry

I don't think it's a bad thing to have a bunch of unmade videos

that mean I still have a lot of ideas

that's a good thing no doubt

oh oh

then i forgot to say

there was a great script writer last month

he brought me a very detailed script

this script will probably be the scene of the next series

there are still some things in there that I need to plan

but i have confidence in it

I mentioned in "Details about the Request"

If you have a great script or character

you can come to me i am sure i will be interested

okay I think the serious part is over

let's talk about something funny

Basically I'm working on something new every week

I think rather than making the same videos all the time

learning to improve quality is more important

Because in fact I think my efficiency in making videos is uh...... not low

so I will have an expectation for the number of my own works, I hope to do more and let everyone see these videos

So I often tell my friends

oh man I think I update very slowly

but they also have creators who subscribe to FANBOX

they told me

In fact, they rarely see someone update so quickly

okay to tell the truth

I only do maybe four things a day now

eating, sleeping, farming, making videos

That's why I say that writing the weekly report is the most relaxing time for me

If you have questions about farming

because i moved to the country

then i have a big yard

so i grow vegetables just for... good health

Get some sun, get up and move body or something

seriously I think I'm healthier than ever

then secretly tell you

every time i find something new

or made a new shot

and then this shot does exactly what I want

I'll be so excited I'll hug my head in front of the screen and shout

oh shit!!

oh shit!!!!

oh shit!!!!!!!!!!

Then in your mind like a football player scoring a goal

run around the field

For example the butt data of "Lucky day 2 if"

I think the shaking and camera are really good

So I ran two laps of the field

in my head of course

and now I'm going to tell a pretty long story

it was the beginning of july

remember i mentioned a friend of mine

I lived in the basement of his restaurant before I moved

I know this guy because we all work under a shitty boss

we have many mutual friends

I made an appointment with him to have dinner with other friends on 7/1

when I returned to the city on 6/30, he suddenly sent a message to tell me

he told me: My girlfriend's friend is going to celebrate her birthday on 7/1

so let's make a date later

I feel weird hearing this

i mean....your girlfriend?

Isn't it Wendy?

or did you change your girlfriend?

I've known you for as long as I've known Wendy

and her mother invited me to dinner during the festival, and you know it

Then you tell me your "girlfriend"

I think okay he might just call Wendy his girlfriend occasionally

Then I asked him what about Ben?

don't we all have a date?

He told me Ben would be there too

but he's afraid of embarrassing me because there will be a lot of Wendy's friends and I don't know them

I told him I think it's okay

I know you all and I know Wendy so what's the problem?

He said:or do you want to make another appointment with Ben?

I'm thinking are you kidding me? I live so far away

can i fucking stay with you guys every day?

so i was telling him

I think it's okay because I'm bored

He only replied to me: or maybe you want to stay with your family?

my heart is full of doubts

but I don't want to ask in the message

So I just asked him if he was at work

I'm going to go straight to the restaurant where he's working right now

when i saw him

I feel.......

indifferent

not just for me

it's his whole body

at that time his restaurant was closed

i sit next to him

he's eating lunch

Look at him like he did in March

Remember I mentioned he eat curry with his eyes closed?

like that but this time with half open

I asked him if he saw Ben lately

how's his breakfast shop?

how is his business

is he doing well?

he told me: he is fine, he is happier than before

he said Ben is now his own boss

no one restrains him, he is very happy now

Then I asked him how is Ben's wife doing?

they still run the same work together?

Then he told me the income of these two people

I sound like that income is a....uh.......

Maybe a little more than supermarket employees?

I'm not saying you can't earn like a supermarket worker

but what if you guys are going to have kids later?

what if you want to buy a house?

You can't work 12 hours a day with your wife

then he closes the shop for one day every week

that is, he has 4 days off a month

and he's the boss....

then i asked him

So... does Ben have any plans?

He told me: No, Ben is happier now than before

he is freer than before

uh...I don't know what kind of freedom there is in a restaurant working 12 hours a day and taking 4 days off a month....

Then I asked him: what about Kevin?have you seen him recently

how is his restaurant ? how is his business?

He told me he and Ben just drove to find Kevin last month

(I don't know why he didn't tell me

I thought he might think I was busy so he didn't ask me)

He said Kevin was at the construction site moving bricks in the morning

go home to open shop at night

But he's closed the shop now

He is going to do insurance business now

I looked at him and said: kevin? insurance business? are you serious?

Kevin is a collection of negative energy

It feels like there's always a cloud over his head

: "Why does Kevin think he can do insurance business?" I ask

He said: Kevin's friends told Kevin that he is suitable for sales

in fact

someone told Kevin about five years ago that he wanted to open a store with him

and scammed him out of about... $30K

:"oh so now another "friend" tells Kevin he's fit to sell?" I say

He told me he and Ben both told Kevin he wasn't right for the insurance business

BUT!

Kevin is willing to spend money on himself now

He looks happier than before!

I asked: Is it a retaliatory spending or is he really willing to treat himself better?

because Kevin is a person who won't even buy himself a bottle of Coke

so I ask

then he told me: "Kevin bought himself a car for his birthday"

then I was like: WTF he bought a car?

he was scammed out of $30K and opened another store, which is now closed

got a bunch of money owed and now he bought a car?

"oh no no no no no WTF why would he buy a car" I say

He told me: Kevin is going to sell insurance now, it is necessary for him to have a car

besides he looks happier now than before

I thought:"uh...okay...maybe everyone is actually happy...?"

then i looked at him

i don't feel real

not at all

but i don't think he lied to me

he just lied to himself

he kept telling me: Everyone is happier than before

then keep telling me how miserable the previous boss was.

the store is closed now, and all his friends have left him.

brabrabra

But I really don't care what happened to our former boss

he is a bad person

but I feel like this person's failures and successes are no longer relevant to me

i don't care

I hear... feel in everything he says

"how miserable is the previous boss now"

"everyone is happier now than before"

he seems to be telling me

tell himself

Everyone was right to leave that boss

we all made the right decision...it's good

we are right....we are right.....we are right

But I don't see joy in him...

my weekly paper writes here and my heart is filled with pain

This is a 7/1 happening

But I didn't deal with this emotion

because I really want to update my video

I put these things in the back of my mind

now to digest these things

I ask him: what about you? what are you up to?

aren't you going to open a new restaurant?

he told me...

he is waiting

Waiting for Wendy's mother to open a breakfast shop

he told me two years ago that he would love to fulfill Wendy's mother's dream

"open a breakfast shop"

I asked him when are you going to wait?

And her mother is going to open a breakfast shop why can't you open it first?

what is the connection between this

he told me he thought it would

I think when you don't want to do something...

You'll find 100 reasons not to finish it

Then he told me he made a new sauce

Imitate what the previous boss did

and it's even better than the previous owner's sauce

I tried his sauce

I think it is really more powerful than the previous boss's sauce

I am very happy for him

I told him: oh that's right when are you going to sell this thing

you should open a restaurant!

you will definitely make money!

And he started telling me he made this sauce

surpassed the previous boss

Then keep telling me how bad life was with our previous boss

when he talks about these things

I don't see any joy in him

Although he didn't ask about me at all

but I have a lot to say to him

he often has headaches

I want to tell him that I found out that more sun exposure and farming can make you healthier

I used to have a lot of headaches but not anymore

or my joy in making a video

I want to tell him I found myself

how much fun life is

I have so much to say to him

But I want to apologize to him first

I think I may have something that bothered him when I was his colleague or even an employee

I want to fix these errors

I want to start this relationship from scratch

I want to tell him I'm sorry about those things

then i looked into his eyes

I told him very sincerely but also a little bit shyly:

I'm now my own boss

I'm beginning to understand how you felt

I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you before

And then I see him turn his head and eyes to the side

avoided me

Then keep telling me how bad life is with my previous boss

as if he didn't hear what I just said

I'm only about 50cm away from him

that moment my heart broke...

I came here to ask him: "don't you want me to go to Wendy's birthday"

and then there are many, many things I want to tell him

oh my god let me pause the story

Why is it still so painful? so real pain

weird right?

the heart obviously just pumps blood to the whole body

but it can hurt so much when you feel certain emotions

so let's continue the story

i forgot what he said

maybe i'm not listening at all

so it's not forgetting

I rode here in the rain that afternoon

looking forward to seeing friends

I don't really care that the water on the ground is half a meter high

but in that moment everything was different

the moment he turned his head away

even after 17 days

that short second is still etched in my heart

I pretended to listen to his stories

about how miserable the former boss was

and bewildered by what happened

i listened to his story

i sat next to him

but I feel like I can't touch this guy

this man... these friends are getting farther and farther away from me

We could play games together three months ago

We could still be under the same boss two years ago and say how bad he is

then just three months later

I feel like these friends are so far away from me

so far away...

Watching the rain stop outside the window

I told him it was time for me to leave

I've been riding for 6 hours and I'm pretty tired now

Then he told me his time off was almost over

so i get up and leave

When I set the navigation at the door of the restaurant

there is only pain in my heart

But I think he's probably in more pain than me right now

them...Including Kevin and Ben

none of them lied to me

they lied to themselves...

i started the engine

I saw him waving at me in the restaurant

with a smile

an unreal smile

i nodded to him

A thought flashed through my mind before I turned the throttle...

"will i see him again?"

then i left

not just him

I think these friends are getting farther and farther away from me...

these old colleagues

I stayed in the city for 3 days

6/30~7/2

When I visited my aunt on 7/2

we talked about it

I told her: I don't think I'm such a bad colleague or employee

And after I left

I make videos in his basement

I will also use my time to help him make his order

because it is impossible for him and Jason to make such a large amount of things

i told my aunt

I think we are very close

I'm not that bad, I'll help him with his orders

even if i didn't take his money

My aunt told me: that's probably why

because he needs you and you can help him

uh...i'm totally stunned

I told her: I treat him like my brother

She told me: When you sincerely apologize to him and he turns his head away

You should know that he should have a lot of opinions on you

He's had a grudge against you for a long time

Just because he still needs you so he doesn't show it

now you can't help him, of course he won't accept your apology

I just said: but... I see him like a brother.....

she told me

When you get older, you meet more people

you'll know that a lot of times people show kindness

just because you are useful to him

i don't blame anyone

I don't think my aunt said anything bad about my friend

I don't feel offended why he has to look friendly

Just because I'm free labor

I'm actually very calm

I'm just lamenting that there's no way to really be friends with these people

i have asked myself

If one day he opens a new restaurant

or he is getting married

i got an invitation will i go?

i think the answer is yes

definitely

I still hope the relationship can be mended

Even if the previous ones were all fake

I do not care

If it's okay to start over I can introduce myself again

so yeah....

I still like these people

these old colleagues

i hope they're all really happy

But I won't tell them they're kidding themselves now

i thought of my friend

told me I became an idiot

and now he doesn't want to talk to me

so i was thinking

if i don't tell them they're wrong

So am I really a friend?

But... I think everyone has lessons to learn

I don't want to solve other people's problems

not because i don't care

because if he doesn't realize it's a problem

I told him it only added to their annoyance

make his life worse

but he won't do anything meaningful

so that's actually making things worse

but if they need help

I think I'll still offer my advice

okay now my heart doesn't hurt so much

Because I reaffirmed my own heart

I still want to keep this relationship

It doesn't matter if the previous one was fake

okay this story ends here

If there is anything new I will let you know

OMG I wrote a weekly report for 4 hours

Then most of the time what I write has nothing to do with the video

but everyone is probably used to it

I'm looking at my weekly cover right now and wondering how I'm going to end this weekly

and then I started thinking about how I got here

did you see that Momo?

have you seen my first work uploaded last 11/10?

that's what i want to share

although I still want to share my farming experience

but what I planted hasn't grown yet so...yeah

maybe next time

I think I need to go get some sleep

this incident and this story have been buried in my heart for about half a month

uh...Although I just said that my previous two weekly reports were relatively short

But I seem to be missing a weekly newspaper this month

probably the week I got back from the city

oh that happened to be 7/2

so I wasn't actually going to deal with those emotions at the time

anyway i also suggest you

If something terrible happens to you

In fact, you can not deal with this emotion right now

but you can't hide forever

that's not healthy

you can deal with it later but you can't not deal with it

It's been about half a month for me too

(although I still feel pain as i write this weekly)

uh...that's all

thank you for watching the weekly

oh and I have a hunch you'll see Ryza in next video

(actually I haven't played this game but I like her legs)

anyway...

hope you look forward to the next video:)