Have I Got Wanking Off Dolphins For You

Welcome to The Upshot’s news at 6. The headlines this morning:

Armenian Prime Minister sparks condemnation after threatening to flash his cock to the country’s most revered orthodox priest.

The county of Northumbria is in turmoil over a resident accused of wanking off a dolphin. 

And we’re joined by The Upshot’s environmental editor JP Lockwood as he tries to grow a King Cucumber in his own arse.



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