Styx: Gobbler of Dyx

OOGA BOOGA! I’m an ugly Goblin guy! Crawling out of the sewer to touch your butts and bite your balls off! Watch out, humans! I’m cumming to getcha! 

That’s Styx for ya. At least that’s what I assume Styx to be like. I didn’t pay any attention to his actual dialogue, my own narration was too good. Anyway I’ve been hearing for years that this hideous little hobgobbler game is actually a modern stealth classic. Modern being a relative term, it’s almost a decade old at this point, but how many other pure stealth games have come out in that time? They must all be hiding. 

It certainly controls nice. Styx jumps and scuttles about like an agile little creep. It feels refreshing to have such ease and fluidity of movement in a stealth game. It’s not a fucking chore to play like the old Splinter Cell games, where the developers did everything in their power to make you feel like a 50 year old man. This rotten little goblin can hop like a flea and flee like a feline.

He’s more agile than me at the moment. My knee is fucked! I’m the one who’s hobblin. Hobblin like a goblin with 99 problems. Meanwhile this little knob-gobbler Styx is out robbin and slobbin dyx without a care in his rotten head. He’s giving head and gobblin cum, what a rotten little head-bobbin goblin bum.